Kwami in a Cheese Shop
by FlimFlam3
Summary: Paris is being destroyed, and Adrien must feed Plagg fast to go back in action. But of all the cheese joints, in all the towns, in all the world, he had to walk into that one. .
**KWAMI IN A CHEESE SHOP**

The gargantuan akumatized villain threw Ladybug and Chat Noir away as if they were made of paper. The duo was about to spring back to action when a beep sound coming from the black cat boy ring changed the priorities.

"My Lady! I need to recharge."

"Go on, Chat, I will handle the villain for a while"

Chat Noir rushed to a near alley, where he changed back to Adrien Agreste, just to hear his kwami complaining, as usual:

"I am empty. I am hungry. I am famished"

"Hold on, Plagg, I think I saw something that can solve your problem." Racing through some narrow streets, he finally saw the shop he glanced before, while trying to avoid the villain to destroy that part of the city: _Henry Wensleydale – Purveyor of Fine Cheese to the Gentry._

The sound of another building being smashed rushed Adrien inside.

The youngster found it strange that the place was empty but for a three men on dark clothes. One of then was playing a strange string instrument while the other two performed an odd dance. Without time to lose, Adrien rushed to the counter. After looking for some assistance without luck, he noticed a small bell there, with he rang for service.

From the insides of the establishment came a small man with the weirdest of moustaches and small wire glasses:

"Good Morning, Sir, welcome to the National Cheese Emporium."

"Good morning. I want to buy some cheese!"

"Ah. I though you was about to complain about the bouzouki player. Most people do."

"No, not at all. Look, I am in a bit of a hurry…"

"So he can go on playing, can he?"

"Most certainly. Now then, some cheese, please." With the corner of his eye, Adrien saw in the distance a figure in red hitting heavily a nearby building.

"Certainly, young sir, what would you like?"

"How about a little Camembert."

"I am a-fraid we're fresh out of Camembert."

"Never mind, how are you on Tilsit?"

"I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday."

Adrien could see Ladybug was obviously in pain as she raised and whirled her yoyo to face the foe again.

"Right. Hm, Bel Paese?"

"Sorry, young sir."

"Red Windsor?"

"Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down."

"Gruyere? Emmental?"

"No."

More sound of nearby destruction came to Adrien ears, as he tried to rush the situation:

"Brie, Roquefort, Pont-l'Eveque, Port Salut, Savoyard, Saint-Paulin, Carre-de-L'Est, Boursin, Bresse Bleu, Perle de Champagne?"

"No."

"Epoisses, pehaps?"

"Ah. We have Epoisses, yessir."

"Great. Let me have it."

"Yessir. It's, ah… it's a bit crumby."

Adrien heard Ladybug screaming.

"I like crumby! Give it to me."

"Well… it's very crumby, actually."

"No matter! I want it"

"I think it's a bit crumbier than you'll like it, young sir."

"I don't care how bloody crumby it is, hand it over at all speed."

The clerk made a pause.

"What now?"

"The cat's eaten it."

Was that a bus Adrien saw flying through a building?

"Fine! Fine! Give me some Cheddar"

"Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir."

"Not much ca-It's the single most popular cheese in the world!"

"Not 'round here." The clerk paused for a bit. "You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir."

"Would it be worth it?"

"Could be."

"Have you -SHUT THAT BLOODY BOUZOUKI OFF!"

"Told you, young sir..."

"Have you got any Limburger?"

"No."

"Have you got any cheese here at all?"

"Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time, young sir."

At a semi-destructed petrol station nearby, a furious Adien gave Plagg a cereal bar he found between the rumble. The kwami opened his mouth to complain

"Not. A. Single. Word. Just eat. Fast! And remember me to cataclysm that clerk."

* * *

Soon, transformed back in Chat Noir by a disgruntled Plagg, he rushed to help his partner.

"Kitty!" Said Ladybug, painfully getting in her feet. "Just in time. My kwami is about to give in, too. I will be back in a flash."

After a while, a bruised Marinette entered a small shop.

"Welcome to the European House of Cookies and Biscotti, miss. Hope you're not here to complain about the balalaika player?"

The end

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER**

 **1 – the author does not owns Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir, its characters and likenesses; nor any Monty Python sketch or propriety; tale done for entertainment purposes only**

 **2 – Opinions more than welcome.**

 **3 – Happy April Fools.**


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